Why do I read?
I feel like I have touched on this topic before, but I have nothing else to write about at the moment and I would like to share the reasons behind why I read.
Often, I state that I am an avid reader and that I have always like read – but that isn’t quite right. I love to read yes, but I don’t devour books by the day – it actually takes me a couple of days to read a book, and even a few weeks if I’m really not in the mood. Also, there was a point in time when I would refuse to pick up a book at all. It’s only in the past 5 years I have actually been quite the reader, spending time with my books and reading about all the lives of all these characters that have so much more interesting lives than I do.
Some people read because it has always been something that they did when they were little, or have been influenced by their parents or teachers or whoever. Then there are those who just really like reading, and enjoy it as a form of entertainment above anything else. Those who does it for a living, and there are those who read for companionship.
I am of the latter – I wasn’t always the latter one though. I read because I enjoyed it (once I got over the fact that books do not always have pictures in them) and because it was actually fun when you meet people who likes the same books as you do.
But, recently – it has been a form of companionship and of escapism. I read because I love getting lost in the worlds of the characters I read about. I read because I’m trying to escape the reality of life. I read because I’m lonely – and reading gives me the companionship that I need.
It sounds very sad, and make me out to be some sort of a loner. But I guess that isn’t far from the truth. I am at school now, writing this and I am sitting on my own. I could sit with some of the people I know – and they have invited me to sit with them – but I chose to be alone.
In a sense, the loneliness that I feel is self-imposed. But, sometimes I would rather be on my own than with a group of people whom I barely know and whom it seems I do not know how to speak to.
Books are easy, they will be the companion you need when you are on your own and they are the companion when everything in the world seems to be going wrong. You empathise with characters; you wish to be those characters. I read because sometimes all the silver linings that I can find always lead to my beloved books. They are there when I am down, and they can understand the feelings that I am feeling.
I am a peculiar person – that I am sure of, because of the fact that I am lonely and yet I shut people out of my life… that I crave human intimacy but shy away from it too. I would read books and all these characters in their relationship, and I long for those kinds of relationships as well, but I can never be brave enough to come out and be as brave as they are – to come out of their comfort zones and be who they truly are.
Books show me characters who I long to be, they inspire me to be someone who I wish to be – sometimes they even manage to push me hard enough to actually get a result. Did you know that the reason I started a blog is because of my books. I wanted to share my love for them and to find people who I can talk to about these wonderful things.
An artwork in the form of words – is what a book is to me, a companion too. They are the most loyal of friends no matter how much they hurt you with the stories they rely to you – but nevertheless they are always going to be there when you need consolation.
I am trying to better myself – to balance my social life, school life and bookworm life all together. I try to become more socialise and to create more friends… and I’m getting there. Slowly (very slowly) but I am making my way there.
I don’t want to change fully – but only slightly, to be an improved version of myself.